Dear Child of Mine, Your realness seems to have brought about may unexpected changes to my life. Yes, already. I am still finding it hard to believe this is for real, and perhaps I’ve become jaded by our years of disappointments. I’m trying to hard to be excited, but for now I’m just thankful for […]
Why Yoga
As of May 8th, 2015, I have completed my 225 hour certification program to become a Registered Holy Yoga Instructor (R-HYI). The journey to this moment is many years long, winding and God-led. Allow me to share. In 2009 I began exploring the blog world and happened upon the writings of a girl named Mandy […]
The New Land
Dear Child of Mine, You actually exist! You’ve made your home in my womb, and I’m completely humbled to have been given the honor of carrying you. I really never thought this day would come. Disbelief still clouds my thoughts, wondering if all those positive tests were just some elaborate scheme of disappointment. But then […]
Due
Dear God, I can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the mild flu I’m fighting and the fact I can’t breathe through my nose. (I can’t stand a dry mouth.) Maybe it’s that hot cocoa I drank. Or maybe it’s the racing thoughts, swirling round and settling on the calendar date. Today was our birth mother’s due date. […]
Feeling the Love
Dear God, We were well-loved today. Thank you for the evidence of your truths from Jeremiah 31:2-3. Thus says the Lord: “The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have […]
Grace Sightings
Dear God, I have been angry with you. Why did I my heart need to be dragged through this…this…adoption miscarriage?! I have been so, so sad. But somehow I have seen your graces made evident, even in these dark days. I remember something I wrote about in February 2011 as I was reading Ann Voskamp’s One […]
Processing
Dear God, Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did everything seem so perfect? Why did we paint the nursery? And rearrange most of the house? Why did we buy a new car? Why did we spend every spare moment in February planning and preparing and dreaming and praying? Why did we believe this […]
Over Our Heads
Dear Child of Mine, It is with a heavy heart I write to you this morning. I’d rather just forget all of this, refusing to acknowledge these circumstances. But I am convinced by the Spirit of God that even these dark days are part of my story. The tapestry of my life is being woven […]
Called by Name
Visit YouCaring.com/EcclesAdoption Dear Child of Mine, As we anticipate your birth, we consider your name. It occurs to me that no matter how many years I’ve been making baby name lists, nothing could have prepared me for this responsibility. At this point, naming you seems like a massive decision – right up there with […]
Favor and Honor
Dear Child of Mine, Sometimes I get scared of how life will change when you come. I realize what a great gift these almost-seven years are, just your Dad and me. We can come and go as we please. We can go on dates and visit friends or host a gathering without thinking of how […]