Yesterday was a doctor day again. In my whole life I’m not sure I’ve had as many appointments as in the last 6 months. It’s becoming old hat, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. The doctor had said to me at my post-op visit in October, “If you don’t conceive after three […]
Why So Quiet?
Dear Child of Mine, I’ve thought of writing to you many times over the past two months. They’ve been very full weeks, traveling, making big decisions, spending time with people we love. But my absence isn’t due to my busy schedule. I easily could have carved out time to share my life with you. I […]
In Addition to You
Dear Child, I’ve been searching for my place – my calling – for quite some time. For the past ten years (or perhaps the last 28), I’ve been wondering what I should do with my life. As you know, the dream held in my heart since childhood was to become a mother. Having children became my sole pursuit […]
Truth is,
Child of Mine, my heart is on a roller coaster every time I go on Facebook. The truth is, I’m probably on Facebook far more than I should be. The truth is, even though I know I’m going to see 90% of my newsfeed overflowing with beautiful babies and ultrasounds and birthday parties, I can’t […]
Doctor’s Report
Dear Child of Ours, We had our post-op visit with the doctor last Friday, October 10th. It may sound weird but I was so happy to discover she had found problems – because knowing the problem means there is a likely solution. During the laparoscopy she found mild endometriosis as well as abdominal adhesions. She also […]
My Pastor-Husband
Dear Child, Here’s a confession: it’s a little bit strange to have your pastor also be your husband. Or have your husband also be your pastor. I’m sure you’re going to have an interesting life ahead of you has a PK – pastor’s kid. (Hey, that’s funny…PK is also what your dad often goes by…short […]
What’s Going Through My Head?
Dear Child of Mine, As I sit here, postured in such a way as to avoid painful abdominal responses, I am posing questions like: What now? Are our chances of getting pregnant really good? Should my hopes be up? Am I afraid? What in the world do these graphic images of my internal organs even mean?! […]
Becoming
Dear Child of Mine, In all this waiting for you, I have begun to learn more and more about myself. I used to define myself by the motherhood I would one day experience. Always living, planning, hoping in the future. My desire for you has not diminished and I’m certain it won’t disappear. Your participation […]
Running Rhythm
Dear Little One, I have a confession to make – after 5 weeks of not being able to run due to an ankle injury, I finally just entered into an honest place of grieving. This may sound totally ridiculous. Why would anyone be sad that they’re missing their runs? But for for me running is […]
You Only Live…Twice?
Dear Child of Mine, First you should know that you helped me in writing my Tuesday night message for the young teen camp at Somerset Beach. Thanks for listening. I was their speaker for the week (me?!?) and had nine messages to prepare. I have never had trouble with public speaking, but the topic-choosing, pick a […]