Child, I’ve been a Jesus follower almost as long as I can remember. Sunday church is as much a part of me as sleeping or eating. I’ve known that one of the Ten Commandments is Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Exodus 20:8 Yet, I confess, I am only now beginning to understand […]
Home Again, Home Again Jiggity Jig
Dear Child of Mine, I’ve been yearning for you a lot lately; more than usual. Perhaps it’s because so many parts of our life seem to be eager for your presence. Our desire is changing from we really want a child to something is missing. There is a new void in my heart that I can’t quite describe. It’s […]
So Many Graces
There is a line from a song* that resonates in my spirit, speaking truth into my weary soul – Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Child, this is the beautiful, broken truth of my life right now – wherever I am, God goes ahead. His grace is in the midst of heartbreak and fear, […]
Our Quaint Village
Dear Child of Ours, Tears streamed down my face, unashamed, as your Daddy and I walked home from church today. We had spent the morning worshiping from the depths of our spirits with a group of saints we now call family. We shared hugs and laughs, graciously received cards and gifts, and then we sat […]
So Many Boxes, So Little Time
Child, I’m beginning to run out of things to pack. For the last two weeks I’ve been steadily making progress, going through cabinets and drawers, finding things buried under the bed or deep in the closet. Given the tight space we live in, you might be shocked to see how many boxes of possessions I’ve […]
Hope and Validation
Hope is a thing of extraordinary power. It feeds the soul. and yet it can torment it. It can be dashed. Yet it can show the way. This beautiful quote from one of my favorite British dramas, Call the Midwife (Season 3, Episode 3). Waiting for you, my Child, is a true test of my ability to hold […]
A Small Goodbye
It’s begun: Spending as much time as possible with as many friends as we can before we move. Filling our one-room home with packing boxes. Feeling sad. Feeling excited. Feeling confused. Last Friday we had our last small group gathering. We call this bunch of people our Life Gwoup. (The W is on purpose. Inside joke.) […]
Not This Time
Oh, Child of Mine, How could we have known that six years after I wiped that tear off your daddy’s cheek as we were exchanging our vows, that we would be soaking each other’s shoulders in tears shed over our barrenness? I wish I knew if God was trying to tell me a flat-out-NO or just […]
The Same Saturday
Dear Child of Ours, Six years ago, May 17th fell on a Saturday just as it will this weekend. On that sunny afternoon at Spring Arbor University, your Daddy and I each received a diploma awarding us Bachelor of Arts degrees. We’d done it, achieved the American dream of graduating from college. I’d spent two […]
Anticipating Mother’s Day
For the first time in all these years of waiting for you, Child, I am anxious about tomorrow. Mother’s Day. The past couple of holidays I wasn’t really thinking about me and my sadness. I was thinking about how GREAT moms are and how they deserve to be celebrated. Inevitably, however, there would be a moment when […]