Dear God,

I have been angry with you. Why did I my heart need to be dragged through this…this…adoption miscarriage?! I have been so, so sad.

But somehow I have seen your graces made evident, even in these dark days. I remember something I wrote about in February 2011 as I was reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts for the first time. And for even this memory, I am thankful.

Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving for the graces.

It starts with the gifts God gives.
We offer our thanks.
And we receive that miracle of joy
– the full life.

“Thanksgiving is inherent to a true salvation experience; thanksgiving is necessary to live the well, whole, fullest life” (p. 39). Eucharisteo precedes us experiencing our fullest salvation in Christ, being saved from the bitter, angry, resentful qualities of sinful living.

And all these years later, I’m still on that Grace-Hunt, the looking for God in the mundane, the good, and the bitter times. And He shows up.

In watching a young leader latch on to his new-found knowledge.

In producing a church website in the midst of the personal mess.

In long, tight hugs from friends.

In the polish that covers the nails bitten through the stress.

In worship team members who respond to my leadership, and prepare with passion.

In the lives being affected by my little story of honest pain and deep faith.

In all these things – God’s graces made evident, I give thanks. Because of Jesus we give thanks. We commune with saints through the ages as we drink the cup and eat the bread, reminding us of His pain. We remember He gave thanks so we, too, must live in eucharisteo.