My dear girl,

I’m already behind in your monthly posts, but let it be known that my tardiness is no reflection of my love for you. I can’t even come up with a specific excuse; I’ve had this post on my to do list for days now. Perhaps it’s being too busy or too stressed or too much of something. But in some corner of my mind I had decided to let myself off the hook of my own expectations, to give myself grace.

I pray you learn the art of grace-filled living. I have much to learn from you.

This past month has been so much fun with you, Kirsten. Your dad and I are constantly taking turns saying, “She is so cute!” Your personality, your squirminess and screeches, your eyebrow raises and big gummy grins have us just smitten.

It’s no secret that you’re well-nourished, my dear. Those chubby cheeks are just irresistibly kissable, and each time someone comments on them I am thankful all over again for the success we’ve had in breastfeeding. I still complain about the crazy strong let-down and over-filling I have to deal with, yes four months in…, but I realized the other day that this is a precise answer to my prayers. I prayed specifically for a few aspects of labor and delivery and for a healthy breastfeeding relationship with you. Not all of my desires were met, but this one has…let’s say…exceeded my expectations. So, thanks God.

It has just occurred to us that may, in fact, be an intense baby. We’ve never thought of you as colicky or high needs, but maybe we just didn’t know any better. We’re getting to be around other babies your age and hearing other friends’ stories and holy smokes I think we’ve had ourselves a strong, fierce, headstrong little girl. At first I think, “Oh man this is going to be difficult parenting a strong willed child.” And yes, it will be, I’m sure. But then I think, “We prayed for our child to be bold and confident, to be a force for the Kingdom of God, and gosh darn it I think that’s exactly what we got!” (Plus, how could we expect any less from the offspring of two first born, type A, strong willed individuals?)

You are loud, so loud. You have a voice and you know how to use it, for better and for worse.

Your smile is glorious and your pouty lip is powerful.

You live on a rather rigid, self-regulated schedule and we love knowing your rhythms.

You are such a people person and quite the charmer when you’re in a happy mood.

You get over-stimulated and over-tired rather easily so watch out.

We adore you, Kirsten – every quirk, every peculiarity, with all of your passion and joy, and despite those glimpses of a sin nature already peaking out. You are so loved, by us and by so many.

This month’s milestones:

1. Slept in your big crib in your own bedroom for the first time on April 29th, just a couple days after your 3rd month birthday. You’ve done beautifully in there ever since. (Mom survived her personal nervousness thanks to the video baby monitor.)
2. Started attempting to roll over on April 1st. You still have not rolled, and I think it’s because you just don’t really see the need for it yet.
3. Fought your first cold on April 6th. It was so sad hearing your congested breathing. It was scary to discover your first low-grade temperature. Thankfully, one dose of Tylenol, and a few days of saline drops and nose-suctioning did the trick. We now keep the humidifier going in your room.
4. Sat up unassisted for the first time on April 25th – just a day shy of your 4 month birthday. It was so exciting!
5. You’ve been actively grabbing at the dangling toys on the activity mat since mid-April and have since expanded to grabbing clumps of my hair, my glasses, and every piece of fabric you can get your hands on.
6. You seem to be teething, but no signs of teeth yet. You are gnawing on things like your life depends on it.
7. You’ve gotten good at self-soothing, only occasionally sucking on your thumb (which is adorable), and doing well with keeping the pacifier in your mouth (when you’re not screeching for the *fun* of it.)
8. On May 5th you had your 4 month appointment with Dr. Aza. She still says you’re beautiful and in perfect health – what more could we ask for!? You and I both survived your second round of immunizations.
   1. 14 pounds 7 oz (65%) up from 7lbs at birth
   2. 24 inches (only gained an inch this month putting you in the 32%)
   3. And that head circumference of yours is in the 83% – wow!
9. You’ve been working on “happy baby” pose the past week and today you actually got your toes into your mouth!
10. Baths are still your favorite thing!
11. You’ve shown some signs of being ticklish, giggling like crazy for brief moments.

We love you, Kirsten Grace. Keep on growing in grace and knowledge, in flexibility and tenacity.